Friday, August 1, 2014

First Psychiatric Breakdown ( All Hell Breaks Loose)

My euphoric state of mind was quickly changing. There was a battle in my mind between good and evil. I was mentally exhausted.

It seemed like everything was a message from God. Shows on the TV. Songs on the radio. Flyers. I felt like God was sending instructions especially for me.

I believed I was Mother Earth. That all souls belonged to me. Being guardian of souls I knew the devil was ruling the earth. I was on a mission to take back all of my children.

Sounds kind of like a movie doesn't it? Well I was living it for real. These events did not require imagination. I was living them.

I was home with my FL best friend's Grandma. I became convinced that Grandma was possessed with a demon. I took my bible and tried to pressed it to her face to get rid of the demon. Needless to say she locked me out of her room.

After that I walked for a few hours to a popular mega church. I thought the pastor was the devil in disguise. I was ready for a showdown.

It was getting dark. Nobody was there. I walked around the church looking for a way in but all of the doors were locked.

I spent the night outside at the church. I was waiting for something to happen. I started reading the bible out loud. I was hoping all souls would return to me.

In the morning I walked back to my best friend's house. I knocked on the door but no one answered. I decided to break in through a window.

My best friend calls my older brother. He comes over and they try to calm me down. These two are not my older brother and my best friend. They are clones trying to kill me. I break free and run away. I must get away.

I run like the wind. They can not catch me on foot. Soon they start following me in the car. Sometimes they would pull up in someone's drive way and I would run through peoples' yards.

Apparently they called the police on me. A lady cop stops me and I end up sitting down on the ground. She begins to ask me questions. I explain that my older brother and my best friend are trying to poison me. The lady cop must think I am on drugs because she asks to see what is in my purse. All I had in there was the bible and a few pieces of candy.

The lady cop and her partner put me in the backseat of their cruiser and drive me to the hospital. Next thing I know I am lying down in a bed. A doctor comes to look at me. I see an evil look in his eyes. I take my bible and try to press it against his face. They end strapping me to the bed and I think they gave me a shot.

Not long after I am escorted to the mental ward. One of the patients tells me she is God. Another patient tells me that she is Eve. First lady created by God. Eve tells me there are a few dead people following me. I tell them to leave me alone! Everyone in the mental ward seemed completely normal to me.

As soon as my dad hears whats happened, he, my step mom and my little brother are on their way to get me. My family travels on an eight hour drive from Mobile Alabama to Orlando Florida to bring me home with them.

At this point I am still a bit delusional but more stable than I was before. My older brother, best friend and two close friends come to help me pack my things. I am thankful to see my friends come to say goodbye. I was only slightly sad because I had no idea that this was a permanent move. I thought after I got better I would be back in Orlando after a few months.

This is my first psychiatric breakdown. I am okay for now but this is only the beginning. The doctors told me I had schizophrenia but I am too disoriented to be phased by it. This mental illness is just starting to control my mind.....

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