High School Years

We continue my journey making the leap to high school. There was plenty of changes going on with me physically and mentally. I was becoming a young woman. I missed my mom incredibly at this critical point in a young woman’s life.

I dreaded going to high school. More people. Making new friends. Some people thought I was stuck up. In reality I was actually very shy. It made me sad that some teens thought this about me. Only my close friends knew about my shyness.

My undiscovered brain disorder made an already difficult transition worse. There was not a lot of traumatic experiences. I was a typical teenager for the most part. I made new friends and still had my close friends to support me.

Some teens are shy. I was painfully shy. I was sad more often than normal. Sometimes not knowing why. My refuge and comfort was my music. Through music I would escape the problems of my day.

As I have said above I managed. I was your typical teenager. I loved being with friends, listening to music, and having fun.

Then comes the summer right before my senior year. The winds of changes are blowing. These changes would deepen my sadness.

Right before starting school we move about forty miles away. Being very shy and at this stage in life the thought of making new friends was terrifying. Most teens at this stage have already formed their own groups. After only a week I could not do it. I could not fit in. I just could not do it!

I tried to enroll back into my old high school. They told me that since I had already been removed from their school they would not let me back in. I did not want to go back to the new school so I decide to drop out.

All of this coupled with my older brother, my protector, joins the military right before we move. My mom left us when I was ten. She was suffering from a mental illness. Now my older brother was leaving. I was devastated to say the least. My brother leaving, moving, trying to fit into a new school. My sadness deepened.

Life goes on. I took a part time job at Marshalls. When I first started working there they put me in the shoe department. I do not enjoy it very much. I get moved into the ladies department. I get to work with lingerie so I am excited! I make new friends. I was thankful for my job. It kept me busy and occupied my thoughts.

Even with all of this going on I kept moving forward. Auntie pushes me to get my high school diploma. I decide to enroll in the local community college and obtain my diploma.

All these changes, all these emotions were almost too much. However I keep on going. I stayed in touch with my older brother through snail mail letters. I was managing I thought, looking forward to college.

All of this may not sound extraordinary but remember I had a brain disorder. Slowly but surely it was beginning to take its toll in small ways. The storm is getting closer....